Joey Heatherton
Nude

Barry Williams of Brady Bunch fame described Joey Heatherton as the “white-hot, vaguely slutty-looking sex goddess” of the ’60s. In fact, this crop-topped blonde bopper was one of the sassiest, swingingest chicks around, in an era not short on sassy swinging chicks. The daughter of a stage actor, little Joey did it all. She released teenage dream singles like “When you call me baby” and made TV appearances on everything from Route 66 to I Spy. But it was Joey’s work on variety shows such as The Jackie Gleason Show and Dean Martin Presents that truly showcased her dynamic, sex-kitten energy. She sang, danced, wiggled, and jiggled in teeny frocks, catching the eyes and flies of every red-blooded male with a television set. She even taught Johnny Carson how to do the “frug”, a frugging hot sixties dance, on The Tonight Show. Her USO tour with Bob Hope caused temporary crippling in many a soldier’s wrist, which wasn’t much of a tradeoff considering Joey had to be rescued by a helicopter once while surrounded by North Vietnamese forces. Joey’s little figure really filled the big screen in Bluebeard (1972). Don’t worry about getting blue balls, because Joey debuted her perfectly pointy peaches, proving her tits were just as perky as her personality. Unfortunately, despite the risqué cover photo she never shows anything in The Happy Hooker Goes to Washington (1977) no matter how much we were dying to fill and bust in her. Off screen Joey was everybody’s pal. She reportedly slept with a wide variety of men, from Perry Como to the entire Rat Pack. Eventually she married Lance Rentzel, wide receiver for the Dallas Cowboys, but that ended when he was arrested for reportedly exposing himself to a ten-year-old girl. Joey didn’t do much acting after the seventies, appearing in a handful of films and television shows including playing a religious zealot in John Waters‘ Cry-Baby (1990). This was likely because she ran into legal trouble during that era, including having been accused of stabbing an ex boyfriend in the hand. This bouncing Joey has given us a Heather-ton of sensuality over the years, and we’ve appreciated every second.